Day 3

Hmmm, so today is a funny one.

I woke up feeling pretty good – I finally got through some creative block last night and started a drawing. It felt really great to put pen to paper again. I drew a sketch I had made a few days ago, entitled “I open myself up to the universe”, which is a phrase that really resonates with me at the moment. A few days, in one of my meditations, I made this my intention. I literally said, I open myself up to the universe. The idea was, I have my goals, I have my ideas and I am open to guidance, help and love from everything around me. Anyway, so this was a sketch realised from that intention.

It’s funny, the more I think about it, the more it seems that I probably have got my wish, just in a form I wasn’t expecting. I am not fulfilled in my day job, and am looking for more… So being made redundant, is probably the guidance I need to get out there and start doing something that really makes my heart sing. I’m looking forward the weekend, where I am going to do some thinking, and some soul searching.

What do I really want to do?

What can I do that will sustain me financially, but also spiritually?

I was feeling pretty happy, accepting. And then something very frustrating happened at work – something frustrating and unfair, and it really set me backwards. I was so angry, I really struggled to breathe almost. I’m actually quite proud of me I didn’t completely see red and go old testament haha!

So most of the day I have felt angry again, which is frustrating me because I don’t want to be angry. I want to feel how I felt this morning, when I was recording my vlog (ooh yeah, I’m loving vlogging!). I don’t know how to get myself out of this funk. Maybe I need to sneak off and meditate!

In reality, I can’t do that. So I guess I need to read up some quick anger reducing breathing exercises to bring myself back down to Earth. All I know right now, is I’m looking forward to getting home tonight.